Once in a while, you need an escape. An exciting crusade where you don’t have to conform to the conventional practices.
When it comes to relationships, you want something that provides you with satisfaction without all the emotional mess. There are polyamorous relationships, open relationships and one more that you might be familiar with: Friends with benefits
It’s kinda like putting your relationship in a juicer and extracting all the good stuff, leaving the mushy mess behind.
As fun as being FWBs may seem – before getting into one- there are some rules that you must abide by.
1. Lay down the ground rules
Before jumping into the juicy bit, there are some ground rules that both you and your “friend” have to set. Having terms and conditions help create a restrictive barrier between you two.
In other words; making sure you maintain the friends with benefits status. Not everyone has the same ground rules. It depends on the type of relationship you guys have and the kind of things you both want.
For e.g If you guys have been friends for a long time, you both might be okay with constantly communicating with each other. However, if you courted a stranger, you might want to avoid developing proximity and keep the texting on the low-low.
2) Don’t fool around with a genuine friend
The whole idea of being FWBs with someone is the fact that you guys are friends first. In fact, being friends first is the main pillar that holds this type of relationship together.
But it depends on the level of closeness both of you started with. Not everyone can go back to the way things were before. You don’t want to ruin your friendship by catching feelings
But what if you do? Out goes the benefits, and possibly, also your friend. So, It’s better to think twice if you’re dealing with a good friend. It’s harder when strings are already attached
3) Don’t fool around with two people from the same circle
This is a HUGE No-no! While your FWB agreement might allow the other to have more than one FWB, fooling around with two people that are associated with each other is above and beyond ridiculous and unnecessary.
Imagine the horror of the awkward meetups where all 3 of you are present. With all of your intentions being hooking up, we can imagine how the interaction will go. Like, who the hell are you making that lustful gaze at?
Please avoid such chaos and look for someone else that isn’t associated with your already-existing mate. There are plenty of others. Jesus.
4) Know the line
There’s a fine line between an FWB relationship and a romantic relationship. Any type of behavior that possesses the character similar to that of a romantic relationship is a breach of the verbal contract.
5) Maintain Distance
Avoid spending too much time together. Again, you have to know how close is too close. The things you do in a romantic relationship- you don’t in an FWB relationship.
Cut the texts short, no cuddling and do not introduce each other to your family and friends. Also, sleepovers? you might want to re-think that one.
You know what happens when that door opens. Hint: Feeeliiingss ~~~~
6) Keep it on the low
It’s better to keep a low profile of your relationship status. With the knowledge of your close associates, you’ll have to deal with unnecessary questions that’ll go something like “Where is this going”, “Are you sure you there isn’t something more”, “You guys should totally date”, to name a few.
If you absolutely must share it with someone, maybe just a friend or two, who you know won’t make unnecessary judgments.
7)You can’t be jealous
If you start to get jealous, you know you’ve stepped into a toxic zone. It’s time to tell them about your feelings.
When you’re feeling something so immensely, it’s easy to think they’re on the same place you are, but that might not be the case.
Otherwise, you’ll get jealous even when you see them interacting with someone even the slightest bit.
You’ll just end up turning into a passive aggressive jealous maniac.
Be open to sharing your thoughts and doubts so you prevent conflict. You might even have to call the whole thing off, if necessary.
8) Be ready for changes
Unlike other relationships, in friends with benefits, you initiate something knowing that it’s gonna end one day or the other.
Sooner or later one of you will start dating someone and it’ll be time to call the whole thing off. Amidst all the fun, It’s easy to get carried away.
Remind yourself that it’s temporary and that you need to be okay with it.
9) Make sure both of you are still on the same page: Communicate
Keep yourself updated about your and your play buddy’s feelings. Don’t hesitate to talk about and re-discuss your relationship. It is important that both of you are on the same page to make things work.
Lack of communication can lead to either one or both parties having the different conceptions about the way things are between Y’all.
10) Don’t fight your instincts
Let’s face it, committing to such a relationship can be difficult. We aren’t always in control of our emotions as we think we are. What starts off as a “sex-only” item can potentially turn into something more.
Sometimes, it’s better to accept what you’re feeling than think you’re doing the right thing by convincing yourself otherwise. If they feel the same way, then great! but if it’s just one of you that welcomed the butterflies, It’s time to call it quits.
Getting into an FWB relationship is a controversial topic. For some, it’s something they only wish they could have. I mean, C’mon! Sex only? No relationship drama? Need I say more?.
While others swear by the idea that it will only result in one thing: Heartbreak. And that our pesky emotions always find a way to intrude and ruin the whole relationship.
One way or the other, If you get into one these, know you’re getting into one.